2010 Issue

27 continued on page 28 S IMULTANEOUSLY, OUR RESPONSIBILITIES WITHIN OUR homes continue to expand and deepen as our relationship with our spouse and children develop. These seemingly competing influences wage war within our intellects, fighting over our at- tention and can quickly drain our emotional energy reserves. We learn from basic phys- ics that when excessive force is exhorted on an object irreparable damage is certain to occur – in psychology this is called the “breaking point” . I found myself less and less involved in the lives of my spouse and children. I often wondered if I could really grow my career while sustaining a happy and fulfilling home life. It seemed as though I would have to sacrifice one for the other – but which one to chose? Late one evening, whilemy children were sleep- ing, I realized that I was barely conscious of what each family member was doing each day; and despite our physical proximity, the relation- ship between my spouse and me was not as close as it ought to have been. I decided that something had to give. I composed a concise email to my business partners informing them that I was pulling out of the venture – I simply couldn’t keep up the schedule anymore. The following day I bore mixed feelings about my decision... on the one hand I was relieved; on the other, I was devastated at giving up an opportunity for wealth and success. I felt as though I had sacrificed my career for what I thought was more important. I have since realized that my perception was incorrect. My career was not being sacrificed; I was simply refining the balance of forces through the crucible of difficult decision making. By re- dedicatingmyself tomy family I was altering the focus of the system so that I could re-calibrate to the ever-changing influences of life. From a professional perspective I found myself with a renewed energy and was soon promoted to Senior Manager and then Lead Technologist. At home, my marriage improved and my everyday involvement withmy children increased. Though it took some time, I have discoveredmy formula for equilibrium and can now focus on maintain- ing that state. Having shared my personal experience regard- ing this dilemma of divided priorities, I would like to offer an exercise that may assist other like-minded engineers who are searching for a Finding Balance Between Career and Family An Engineer’s Quest for Equilibrium JEREMIAH JONES “The condition of a system in which competing influences are balanced” – Equilibrium. As we progress in our career the demands on our time seem to grow proportionally. As engineers, our employers rely on our ability to dedicate extreme energy and an alert awareness to the complex problems we encounter each day. Several years ago, as a young graduate fresh out of my Master’s program and with two young children (and a third on the way) I found myself in a difficult situation where I was not sure how to prioritize between my budding career and my growing family. My employer demanded constant energy and I found myself over-com- mitting in an effort to grow the company (and subsequently my own paycheck). At the same time I was struggling to get my own company off the ground by working late evenings and long weekends. As this rigorous schedule continued